[I was not sure what section this should go in, so I choose this one]In a good way. But I'd lie, and lying is a sin, if I did not feel that some things you preach appear "fanatic" or "crazy".
When I see your typical christian (or some words said on that jesus is savior website), I see Westboro Baptist Church, standing in the street desecrating the funerals of fallen soldiers and shouting people in the face, forcing their children to stand outside for several hours in the sun with signs. Almost outright encouraging or giving people the impression that you should murder heretics.
Which is the same kind of hate that Islam spouts, and they follow trough on that threat (murdering people left and right).
It's disgusting.
Or the girl I read about who had books thrown at her by her parents and was beaten/tortured with knuckles for not entirely agreeing to their particular way of preaching the bible. It would never cross my mind to torture a child for having a differing opinion (preach and teach, don't torture).
Murdering, stealing and causing damage is the way of Satan after all. According to your holy book.
I have always disagreed with the rampant de-constructing of civilization however. Watching Islamist hordes walk all over our effeminate men causing havoc, suicide in the name of their Satan god (What kind of god commands you to murder children? Thus Allah fits very nicely with Satan). Feminism and idiocy. Or that we somehow owe islam anything (we seriously don't. People propagating this is, if I sin, **** assholes).
Or 5 horned queers reading disgusting perverted books to little children.
I myself have been affected by this quite frankly "bullshit" that is washing over all the nations like some wildfire for the past 100 years. It's disgusting to look at, and thinking about what I have given myself into, no meaning of life. Depression (hurt from the past + working until your leg gives up = bad combination), and everlasting hate to those who hurt me when I was younger (something I struggle with letting go), even dabbling into perversion. It's pointless to keep going like this and feel miserable all the time.
Since I see no other option than suicide, I might just turn to religion. I have refuted religion as I pride, or did pride myself on my senses (sight, smell, touch, hearing) and good old science. There's no way in five hells I would join Islam, as they are crazy suicidal (suicidal being something I am trying to get away from). Jews cut off the foreskin from babies and then suck on their penises, which is beyond disgusting. I truly do hope that those from the times of the old testament did not suck on the **** of the babies with their mouths after the cut, that is beyond disgusting, and could make me puke.
They also seem to have a greed (which If I understand are actually Ashkenazim jews), perverting their way into governments and screwing us over.
I also imagined me you being a bunch of stick in the mud, but honestly I have never read or started reading the bible until 3 days ago.
But man is the bible brutal. Actually one of my sins is laughing a bit (not outright wishing harm, just laugh) at others misfortune a bit.
And reading about what they did back then (I think someone outright burnt someone for essentially being deceitful), is humorous to say the least.
But so is reading that justice was served in certain instances. And I find myself laughing a bit less, unless something good happens.
It's actually a bit interesting to read, and I am a **** atheist. And have been from the age of 8 until today, 18 years later.
Sure we went to church to end the school and go on summer vacation, besides being a terrible singer, I never felt anything for what we sang in the church. Nada. No we did not have biblical school or anything.
There's something strange about what I am reading, and oh boy is reading such old English from what you call KJV or KJB hard. Sometimes the words I read make no sense. But it feels like they make a tiny bit of sense you know.
I just wish there was a Swedish translation of the KJB, but sadly they all remove the "sodomite" and other things that confirms a bible usually is the most accurate. So I'll have to trudge on with the english.
There's a local ministry, but all the bibles have verses removed in one form or another, even the one supposed to be "by the people" has modifications in one form or another, for example the word homosexuals. Since it is "hate speech" as defined by our communist government masquerading as a capitalistic state.
I also experienced two events that I simply cannot explain with science, well one could be chalked up to "placebo", but the other. No way.
TL;DR My sister crashed her car, she survived. Yes the chances was kinda good, what they did not count on was her making it out with so little damage that you would have to imagine someone putting their hands around her acting as a shield. Yes I prayed as soon as I heard about the crash (when I had heard about it it was 2 hours after the crash) during this time as I had nothing better to do than crying. When we still did not know the situation. She even got out (with help of course) and took the photos of the crash site herself, completely mentally stable as one could be and fully alert. Someone smashing into a fully loaded truck at 50 km/h and spinning 360 degrees sideways with such g forces simply is not able to do those things. With no Airbag to boot. "She looked as tough she has had a light to medium sparring match in kickboxing".
Other things is how my brother seems to make it out alive of several stupid things he has done.
And this is where I am conflicted about to believe or not to believe. Because there has been other weird things happening in life that I simply cannot explain with science.
My father making it out unscratched while a truck was driving into his side slowly crushing his car against the barrier. As if someone just smacked the truck driver across the face, as he had no idea that my father was below him and he could easily have continued steering to the right, and actually start hurting my dad. (He was also wearing headphones so he did not hear my father spamming the horn).
When I was young, I looked up to the heavens and imagined the wind would move left, it did. Then right, and it did. And I felt it physically. I imagined it
a last time it should move left. And it did. After that I ran inside because what kid would not freak out a bit. This never happened again.
Other things I mostly chalked up to coincidence, some of it are just crazy luck. But how much crazy luck must people have until it mathematically makes no sense to chalk it up to a coincidence? With that I am thinking about what I have experienced, and what I have seen others experience. People lifting cars. The guy who pushed a 1 ton rock off him, with only some broken bones as a result. Adrenaline is a very significant part of these feats, but surely with these things happening to ordinary people who don't train significantly at all, there must be something else in play.
I've read the genesis in 3 days, out loud (not so loud so other could hear. As I am not sure what to make of this) to myself. Just to get that story feel to it. And it is kind of a story, but it feels more real than just a story. I find myself gasping alot while reading it, more than I usually would. Is that the devils trickery trying to distract me?
I am simply confused of what to make of this, how much time do I need to spend? Should I spend all my time 24/7 reading the bible? Should I work like I did before (work hard at the warehouse until one of my legs gave up a bit on me) until my mind cracks completely and I finally go trough with it (jumping of a building or just drink myself to death)? Or is "god" fine if I try to find a easier job that could be more meaningful and not as stressful? How do I know what type of work satisfies the LORD? Besides repenting, admitting and confessing your sins, both past and anytime you commit one and admitting that Jesus Christ died for our sins on the cross? I saw some advocating a "you must work hard and harder and hard etc etc".
If it is LORD above who is giving me hints that he is real, then simply what should I do and how should I balance it so I don't crack again?
I mean I already flushed down what was left of the vodka. Threw away the snus, and the cigarettes I left in the cupboard and have not touched since monday night. (It's bad stuff anyways, but oh so addicting). I expected severe withdrawal symptoms. But I just feel a small pang once or twice per day. But I eat a bit more than I should in return to help deal with the addiction. When I think about it, per the bibles definition we truly have issues avoiding to sin. When I see someone poor, how often do I give that same person food? What if I meet 100?
I tried to confess my sins, and have prayed several times. I just need guidance and to break that last barrier of "doubt" of LORD Jesus and LORD God.
And have severely limited my amount of swearing. 16 years of swearing and cursing can become a bad habit.
So I can be sure if I am not just simply going crazy or if this really is a thing. I just don't know what to do except read the bible.
All in all, I agree with most of the things you say, except very small tidbits. And it's mostly due to confusion.
Especially how we have lost our skills to pass onto the next generations due to degeneracy. People color their hair like a fruit Popsicle... etc...
Natural hair colors are better.
It's a slow process, I just need a little push because all of this is confusing.
Thank you for reading, now I am going to relax a bit. That was alot to get out. This is why I named myself TheCuriousAtheist. I am here to find out if this is a bunch of fanatical old bible thumping based on stories that might as well have been written by people on weed (weed was not exactly illegal back then). Or if the things I am wondering about truly are the work of a most gracious and ever patient God.
God Bless you.
(Oh and the Old Christian Radio Broadcast is really nice. I mean I usually listen to metal and such things are fine I guess in my opinion. Not necessarily holy tough... , but gospel songs are so much calmer and soothing, have been listening to it for the past 2 days).