Message #16249

[tennis shoe]

Amen. Most churches I’ve attended seem to think that if you don’t drink, don’t smoke, attend church, tithe, and dress “respectably”, you are saved and completely sin-free. The Pharisees are still going strong today.

For years I held tightly to the belief that, no matter what happened in my life, I had a guarantee of making it to heaven. It was deeply and secretly held in my heart, like a little pilot light. The Baptists gave me that. This helped me to endure enormous amounts of mental abuse. Unfortunately, I didn’t have knowledge of God beyond that. So, I sought relief from the world through drugs, alcohol, and occultic practices. I was drifting away from God and getting stuck in the enemy’s camp.

But, thank God, He was faithful to reach out to the abyss and call/lead me back to Himself. It was a long recovery process, about 20 years. This culminated in a recall to a church the likes of which I’d never seen before.  Charismatics. The impression I got as I was standing at the doorway of this church was “I have preserved you for this moment, and now it is time to wake up.” Prior to this, He had put in my heart a strong desire to seek Him first and foremost. I wanted to know that He was real in my life, and not just some fictional idea. Oddly, this desire was confirmed by an occultist at the time. This was before I had read the bible for myself. I wasn’t ready yet.

In a very short time, God proved to me that the Bible was not just a fanciful fairy-tale but contained truths that were the key to undoing the damage done by the enemy. An intensely wild ride ensued. But I’m seriously digressing here.

One of the things that came up during that period was the possibility of completely losing my salvation. Interestingly, this thought came via church people that pointed to scripture that seemed to back this assertion. Although I still struggle intellectually with this, I have to look back on His faithfulness to direct my life in a way that is pleasing to Him.

I’m convinced that character trumps whether I live or die physically. There is a much longer-term plan for us in which this is vital. His rule over the shaping of my character is what allows me to choose correctly. Character manifests into thoughts and attitudes. It is a deep work, and most definitely an inside job.